How I spent my Wednesday

You know, I have a huge love of dogs. I've always had one or two or three... They are tons of fun to play with, great companions, loving, fuzzy, etc, etc. Well, apparently the feeling is not mutual at our house. And I swear, these dogs have it GOOD. They get to sleep on the bed (the little one anyway), they have a never ending bowl of food and a big fat bowl of water. I love on them each and every day, feed them snacks, Grayson loves on them, Jeff loves on them ... we provide everything they could ever need.

Our dogs are constantly (and I mean constantly) trying to run away. When they do succeed at it, they never want to come back either. Have you ever tried to wrangle a 100 lb dog (who despises the car) into the car and get her home? Let me just say - IT IS NOT EASY!!! Yet, they want to run. So, after spending a couple grand on a fence for them to run in, they still want more. They have dug under the fence in various spots and are persistent about it. At this point, there are more rocks along our fence line than you can find in the grand canyon. Apparently when you are a 100 pound horse, its easy peasy to move rocks and dig a new hole.

The following is a tutorial on how to rig your fence so the dogs actually stay in the fenced yard.

#1 - Bundle up if it is cold. I swear, it was cold enough to freeze the snot in even Satan's nose that morning.

#2 - Listen to dogs whine on the back porch. Enjoy the satisfaction b/c they get to watch you destroy their hopes and dreams. Yeah, that's probably not happening... but whatever.

#3 - Insert shovel and begin digging a trench along the bottom of the fence line.

#4 - Curse every other tree root you come across.
#5 - Fall (as your weight is still on the shovel) over every third tree root.
*note - steps 4 & 5 can occur simultaneously

#6 - Break every 2-3ish hours and savor this:

#7 - Search garage(s) for hacksaw. Give up and look for something else that will cut pvc pipe. While looking for new tool, find hacksaw on workbench - really, why wouldn't it be with all the other tools?! Sigh b/c loving, endearing husband has no organization skills. Proceed to cut pvc where needed.

#8 - Insert pvc pipe into trench.

#9 - Drop a 50 pound bag of quikrete on top of the pvc in the trench.

Yeah, I know it helps if you open it and spread it out. :)

#10 - Cut & bend coat hanger into hooks. Insert through bottom wire on fence and around pvc pipe. Take that dogs!

#11 - Discover garden hose is a solid tube of ice. Curse adults in the house for not bringing it inside during winter.

#12 - Go here

and purchase this:

#13 - Stop for lunch on the way home to make the boy happy. Listen to him sing twinkle, twinkle little star through chicken nuggets and french fries all the way home. Smile b/c it's just cute!

#14 - Get home and decide to read the quikrete bag to see how much water. Smack yourself in the head for not reading you are supposed to use HOT water in cold temperatures (wouldn't need the hose anyway). Enjoy knowing you don't have to buy a new garden hose for your actual garden this spring, but you will need new gloves.

#15 - Carry buckets of hot water (yeah, the new hose wouldn't reach from the nearest connection) over and pour on top of quikrete.

#16 - Shovel dirt back on top of trench.

#17 - Finally sit on your butt and think your dogs aren't getting out, but quickly realize you are going to be proved wrong when they find a spot where you dug down too far and then chase them through the neighborhood to get them back.

#18 - Head back to the store for more quikrete and to start the process over again.

ARGH!!!